Usually, Stephen Colbert hits it right on the head. Remember his White House Correspondant's Dinner speech, where he mercilessly goofed on everyone in the Bush administration? ( I wish he'd pushed that "Gannon" button....)
But in this piece mocking a sponsor of the Glenn Beck - Eric Massa interview, he (and his writers) showed off a frightening lack of understanding. Sure, it's sometimes hilarious, the way Fox advertisers (especially Beck's) prey on the fears of their aging audience. And Colbert's fatuous demolishing of the ad's infomercial duplicity is great: unlabeled graphs, outrageous prices, act now or you might be dead!
But there are real questions left unanswered: why would anyone need non-hybrid seeds? What is it about non-hybrid seeds that makes them valuable in a crisis? And why would anyone spend good money on national advertising in the gamble that people will pay outrageous prices for these certain seeds?
The answer is that almost all the seeds we farm with (and eventually eat) in this country are neutered. That's right. If there were a complete societal meltdown, all those acres of corn, wheat, and soybean would simply die off, never to be replaced. What? Not what you learned in school? Can't the farmer just take some of his crop, grab the seeds right off the stalks and re-plant them, generating more and more plants, more and more seeds?
No, they can't.
Why? Because the agribusinesses that have taken over farming in this country have neutered our seed stock. They have done this on purpose, and the reasoning is simple. If you control the seeds, you control the farmers. And you control the food supply (and maybe, if they're lucky someday, the bioenergy supply as well).
Farmers in this country are between a rock and a hard place: the bank owns their land and agribusiness owns their seed. Farmers, who can't afford to go a season without growing, are forced to sign exclusive contracts with seed providers, and the seed they get has been engineered to be good for one season only.
Isn't that a crime against nature? You bet your ass it is. But there's a bitter irony here as well.
Reactionary survivalists don't need to pay hundreds of dollars for non-hybrid seeds. They don't need to mount an expedition to Norway to raid the Svalbard Global Seed Vault. They can just saunter over to the nearest organic farm - you know, the crazy hippies they've been mocking for the last 30 years - and get some organic (non-GMO, non-chemically sprayed, and non-hybrid) seeds, probably really, really cheap.
But that irony isn't the worst part. The worst part is that, given a chance to educate viewers and ream this advertisement even more, Colbert either didn't know, or he took a pass. The latter may be forgivable: he almost never breaks his conservo-facade.
Still, that barbed wire guarding his herb garden was a more apt metaphor than he probably knew.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Thursday, September 3, 2009
I'm Sayin It
I'm gettin on the record. Right now. I'm puttin on my raincoat and staring into the sun. If the clouds and the drops don't come, I might look silly, and not for the first time.
President Barack Obama: just another politician.
Historically, first African-American president. Major achievement for him, his community, and for all of us non-racists.
Better than George Dubya Bush. Definitely.
But that doesn't mean he's not just another politician.
Either he's not really a fighter, or he's not really a progressive.
Which one is the masquerade?
I sincerely hope that he has some political ninjutsu going on, and that, a few months from now, I'm going to look damn foolish for saying what I'm saying. I hope that in his big Healthcare Address next week, and in his actions following, Obama shows the true value of patience, that he reveals (like Mohammed Ali) the virtue in allowing your opponent to exhaust themselves attacking you.
And then, when they have nothing left to say, you strike with a hard and lasting impression. You shame them for their ill behavior, and you doom them to irrelevance with a powerful mandate. You punish the backstabbers to whom you lent your good faith, and cut them out of the deal.
You show some fortitude, and some principle, and you show the people who put you in office that you have their backs.
But I'm betting that, based on what we've seen so far, Obama will not do that. That was the Obama of the campaign trail, not the Obama of the White House. That's what makes him just another politician.
So I'm putting on my raincoat and watching the horizon.
Prove me wrong, Mr. President. I hope - remember that word that Obama of the campaign trail used to love? - that you do.
President Barack Obama: just another politician.
Historically, first African-American president. Major achievement for him, his community, and for all of us non-racists.
Better than George Dubya Bush. Definitely.
But that doesn't mean he's not just another politician.
Either he's not really a fighter, or he's not really a progressive.
Which one is the masquerade?
- We got a second-term nomination for the Fed Chief who said on record that he didn't know which foreign banks got money from the bailout deals.
- We got a huge stimulus package that represented mainstream economic philosophy at the time, and for which the Democrats are getting little if any credit.
- We got a President who stood up in his first State of the Union and got the entire Republican side of the aisle standing and cheering for him - on national TV - when he talked about reigning in out-of-control banks, and then followed up on that by introducing no significant investigations or regulation.
- We are in the process of closing Gitmo, but Obama has extended the use of extraordinary rendition (aka kidnapping people) and overseas interrogations.
- We got a drawdown in Iraq, but a draw-up in Afghanistan with no clear definition of victory.
- We got a President who seems content to let the rabid minority party gnaw his leg and double-deal with him all over the place, and who won't issue even the most perfunctory smack-down when people he is "negotiating" with run all over the country spreading vicious lies.
- We are in the process of getting health-care legislation in which the President has promised big things to big industry players and has refused to even use that leverage to squash the insane rambling complaints of the opposition.
I sincerely hope that he has some political ninjutsu going on, and that, a few months from now, I'm going to look damn foolish for saying what I'm saying. I hope that in his big Healthcare Address next week, and in his actions following, Obama shows the true value of patience, that he reveals (like Mohammed Ali) the virtue in allowing your opponent to exhaust themselves attacking you.
And then, when they have nothing left to say, you strike with a hard and lasting impression. You shame them for their ill behavior, and you doom them to irrelevance with a powerful mandate. You punish the backstabbers to whom you lent your good faith, and cut them out of the deal.
You show some fortitude, and some principle, and you show the people who put you in office that you have their backs.
But I'm betting that, based on what we've seen so far, Obama will not do that. That was the Obama of the campaign trail, not the Obama of the White House. That's what makes him just another politician.
So I'm putting on my raincoat and watching the horizon.
Prove me wrong, Mr. President. I hope - remember that word that Obama of the campaign trail used to love? - that you do.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Where Do We Rank?
We're all aware that, in terms of healthcare and education, the US ranks quite a bit lower than we often tell ourselves according to our national myth of being "the greatest" country on earth. But at least we have one of the most robust, healthy systems of justice in the world. Still. Right?
Actually, we're being outdone at the moment by the likes of Nigeria. That's right, Nigeria, with its oppressive police and paramilitary force. Nigeria, which ranks 121 out of 180 countries in the global Corruption Perception Index. We rank way up at 18. But what I'm about to share should put that deep into question.
What does Nigeria do that we can't seem to do? Punish the people who got rich raping their economy. From the BBC:
So, "Truth, Justice, and the American Way" apparently means that if you are a big enough crook, you get a seat at the table. The BIG table, the one where you're seated next to the president. Even Nigeria, which hovers around near Eritrea and Honduras in the CPI, manages to call these people to account. We seem helpless to do so.
Imagine picking up your favorite newspaper and seeing: Fugitive Bank Boss Still At Large.
That's the world Nigerians get to live in. Instead, we get: Obama selects Bernanke for Another Term.
Now, you can reasonably debate whether or not the Fed has helped or hindered our economy during the financial meltdown. But remember when that German fellow flew a small propeller plane into Red Square to try and find his long-lost lover? Guess who got fired, just as a show of accountability? If you said the Russian Defense chief, you'd be right. Now think about being the head of our central bank during the nation's biggest meltdown in 75 years - which was caused by the banks that you set rates and printed money for.
Whups! Can you believe it? The president wants to nominate you for another term. You must be one lucky guy.
But that's not the half of it. As Secretary of the Treasury, we get banking industry loveman Tim Geithner.
Imagine a truly progressive approach based on justice and the rule of law. Even if we (rightly or wrongly) regarded some of these financial giants as "too big to fail", shouldn't we have brought their leaders in to call them to task - under oath in a criminal court? Isn't that the very definition of responsibility and accountability? Sorry, CEOs, you were at the helm when the iceberg was struck. You claim you didn't know what was on your balance sheets or what kind of shenanigans were going on at your firm? You have just admitted gross negligence. Enjoy your time in prison. Maybe, on your way there, you can work on a better explanation why misrepresenting the value of your assets is not fraud.
Instead, what do we get in our supposedly not-that-corrupt republic? We find our leaders quibbling over bonuses and executive pay limits. This is whipping with a feather, and having to fight for that.
Next time someone mentions what a just country we are, remind them that they are talking about a "perception", and that in reality, we rank right alongside the scummiest juntas in the world. Maybe stuck between Libya and Nicaragua, but probably no higher than Nigeria.
But wait, maybe that's going too far. Our national government may be extremely corrupt, but at least we live in a relatively safe country. No, we don't. Okay, well at least we don't live in some repressive police state. Depends on your criteria, perhaps. Turns out, much of it depends simply on how much money you have.
Well, that's kind of a downer.
No one ever said reality was going to be fun. Unless, of course, you happen to be a bigwig at a major bank in the United States. Party on, TARP! Party on, Wayne.
Actually, we're being outdone at the moment by the likes of Nigeria. That's right, Nigeria, with its oppressive police and paramilitary force. Nigeria, which ranks 121 out of 180 countries in the global Corruption Perception Index. We rank way up at 18. But what I'm about to share should put that deep into question.
What does Nigeria do that we can't seem to do? Punish the people who got rich raping their economy. From the BBC:
Four senior banking executives in Nigeria have appeared in court to deny charges they were involved in a multi-billion dollar banking scandal.and
Fifteen other chief executives at the banks - Afribank, Intercontinental Bank, Finbank, Oceanic Bank and Union Bank - are being questioned by police after the loans were not repaid.and
One banker, Erastus Akingbola, former chief executive of Intercontinental bank, is still missing. He is on the run and wanted by Interpol.and, lest you think that this was some local trouble, not connected to the big scams that have rocked the world economy:
All the banks were found to have low cash reserves because of bad loans.Some of them were also accused of lending money to fake companies run by their friends, and falsely driving up share prices. Huh.
So, "Truth, Justice, and the American Way" apparently means that if you are a big enough crook, you get a seat at the table. The BIG table, the one where you're seated next to the president. Even Nigeria, which hovers around near Eritrea and Honduras in the CPI, manages to call these people to account. We seem helpless to do so.
Imagine picking up your favorite newspaper and seeing: Fugitive Bank Boss Still At Large.
That's the world Nigerians get to live in. Instead, we get: Obama selects Bernanke for Another Term.
Now, you can reasonably debate whether or not the Fed has helped or hindered our economy during the financial meltdown. But remember when that German fellow flew a small propeller plane into Red Square to try and find his long-lost lover? Guess who got fired, just as a show of accountability? If you said the Russian Defense chief, you'd be right. Now think about being the head of our central bank during the nation's biggest meltdown in 75 years - which was caused by the banks that you set rates and printed money for.
Whups! Can you believe it? The president wants to nominate you for another term. You must be one lucky guy.
But that's not the half of it. As Secretary of the Treasury, we get banking industry loveman Tim Geithner.
Imagine a truly progressive approach based on justice and the rule of law. Even if we (rightly or wrongly) regarded some of these financial giants as "too big to fail", shouldn't we have brought their leaders in to call them to task - under oath in a criminal court? Isn't that the very definition of responsibility and accountability? Sorry, CEOs, you were at the helm when the iceberg was struck. You claim you didn't know what was on your balance sheets or what kind of shenanigans were going on at your firm? You have just admitted gross negligence. Enjoy your time in prison. Maybe, on your way there, you can work on a better explanation why misrepresenting the value of your assets is not fraud.
Instead, what do we get in our supposedly not-that-corrupt republic? We find our leaders quibbling over bonuses and executive pay limits. This is whipping with a feather, and having to fight for that.
Next time someone mentions what a just country we are, remind them that they are talking about a "perception", and that in reality, we rank right alongside the scummiest juntas in the world. Maybe stuck between Libya and Nicaragua, but probably no higher than Nigeria.
But wait, maybe that's going too far. Our national government may be extremely corrupt, but at least we live in a relatively safe country. No, we don't. Okay, well at least we don't live in some repressive police state. Depends on your criteria, perhaps. Turns out, much of it depends simply on how much money you have.
Well, that's kind of a downer.
No one ever said reality was going to be fun. Unless, of course, you happen to be a bigwig at a major bank in the United States. Party on, TARP! Party on, Wayne.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Goddamn I Hate Fox News
I know, I know! We all hate fox news. At least those of us that are not clueless / mentally deficient / terminally afraid / racist. But I sauntered over to their website the other day just to wander around and see what's what, and wouldn't you know it? The Fox News website, usually more moderate than their television stations, has finally jumped the shark and gone down the rabbit hole, to mix a few naturalist metaphors. Let's get right to it.
Look at this!
You are making a strong claim about the Speaker of the House. It's too easy - she said that people who are disrupting town halls are acting un-American because they are stifling debate. That's not hard to understand, is it? She did not call all Protestors un-American. She said those who are being disruptive and stifling debate are un-American. I mean, maybe FN has a point here, that it's wrong for anyone in government to challenge the "American"-ness of a group of our own citizens. Yeah, if this wasn't coming from the side that's had a near-monopoly on calling people un-American for the last 60 years!
Okay, moving on.
It gets worse as we go. Here is another page. These are all from the same damn day!
Can you read the subhead? It says that the AARP, one of the most respected seniors' organizations in the country, "is coming under criticism from its own members for appearing to support President Obama's health care reform plans".
Wow, that might give you the impression that the AARP, while it doesn't support Health Care Reform,
has been giving some members the impression that it actually does support Health Care Reform, though, according to Fox News, it doesn't.
Oh Yeah??
Plus, you have to read the actual article, but I'll point out a great feature:
Excuse me while I go shave my head and join an ashram and pray for the enlightenment of humanity. I just need to get away. I wish I could be funny about it, but it just ain't funny. Is the Greatest Generation turning into the Selfishest Generation? Maybe, but I think it's more likely that Fox News is just lying their faces off!
But wait - it gets even more bizarre. And remember, this is all in one day of Fox News's coverage.
Fox News has this awesome segment called America's Future. You can tell it's on point - see all the futuristic writing? Just look at this:
In case you can't read the tag line, it's "FOX News, in an ongoing series of special reports, takes an in-depth look at the challenges our nation will face in the future."
Looking at this, you might think that OUR ENTIRE FRICKIN COUNTRY IS TURNING MUSLIM!
Look at the first five videos! They're all about some crazy encroachment of Islam into America. Amazing! You would think, because this is featured on a "news" show, that this was something that was actually happening! Oooooh, they're going to turn everyone Muslim!
My favorite is the next bit, where the focus is on textbooks. The piece - I mean, look this up, it's awesome - people are complaining that the coverage of Islam in their textbooks doesn't focus enough on extremism. I mean, WHAT? First of all, there's one book in their own news report that has a whole section there on 9/11. So, not enough, huh?
First of all, I just need to say: people in this country are free to practice or not practice any religion they choose. Period.
But really, these people are claiming that the textbooks don't give enough history of the violence in Islamic history. I'm sure they are also clamoring for the full bloody breadth of the Crusades to be exposed to our youth. And maybe they are...after all, they seem to think that Holy War is a good thing.
But - here is the larger point - aren't there REAL, ACTUAL challenges facing our country, something besides the treatment of a religion that's followed by a tiny percentage of our country? I don't know, maybe the Health Care Crisis might be a good place to start. Or the putrid corruption infesting our political system. Or our abhorrent educational system. Or our struggling military. Or the choking, poisonous pollution we spew every day.
No, instead Fox News wants to ignore real problems to keep people riled and stewing over these imagined insults to some equally imagined "real American" character. In the process, they just let everything get worse, and they recruit legions of undereducated saps to actually muck up the works for those who are actually trying to solve our real problems.
Goddamn I hate Fox News!
Look at this!
You are making a strong claim about the Speaker of the House. It's too easy - she said that people who are disrupting town halls are acting un-American because they are stifling debate. That's not hard to understand, is it? She did not call all Protestors un-American. She said those who are being disruptive and stifling debate are un-American. I mean, maybe FN has a point here, that it's wrong for anyone in government to challenge the "American"-ness of a group of our own citizens. Yeah, if this wasn't coming from the side that's had a near-monopoly on calling people un-American for the last 60 years!
Okay, moving on.
It gets worse as we go. Here is another page. These are all from the same damn day!
Can you read the subhead? It says that the AARP, one of the most respected seniors' organizations in the country, "is coming under criticism from its own members for appearing to support President Obama's health care reform plans".Wow, that might give you the impression that the AARP, while it doesn't support Health Care Reform,
has been giving some members the impression that it actually does support Health Care Reform, though, according to Fox News, it doesn't.
Oh Yeah??
Plus, you have to read the actual article, but I'll point out a great feature:
"Recent polling by FOX News shows seniors, many of whom are on Medicare, don't want a major overhaul -- 93 percent rate their current coverage as good or excellent, and 56 percent say they oppose the creation of a government-run option for all Americans."The idea is that government-run, single-payer Medicare has such a good approval rating, that people don't want a version for the rest of us???
Excuse me while I go shave my head and join an ashram and pray for the enlightenment of humanity. I just need to get away. I wish I could be funny about it, but it just ain't funny. Is the Greatest Generation turning into the Selfishest Generation? Maybe, but I think it's more likely that Fox News is just lying their faces off!
But wait - it gets even more bizarre. And remember, this is all in one day of Fox News's coverage.
Fox News has this awesome segment called America's Future. You can tell it's on point - see all the futuristic writing? Just look at this:
In case you can't read the tag line, it's "FOX News, in an ongoing series of special reports, takes an in-depth look at the challenges our nation will face in the future."
Looking at this, you might think that OUR ENTIRE FRICKIN COUNTRY IS TURNING MUSLIM!
Look at the first five videos! They're all about some crazy encroachment of Islam into America. Amazing! You would think, because this is featured on a "news" show, that this was something that was actually happening! Oooooh, they're going to turn everyone Muslim!
My favorite is the next bit, where the focus is on textbooks. The piece - I mean, look this up, it's awesome - people are complaining that the coverage of Islam in their textbooks doesn't focus enough on extremism. I mean, WHAT? First of all, there's one book in their own news report that has a whole section there on 9/11. So, not enough, huh?
First of all, I just need to say: people in this country are free to practice or not practice any religion they choose. Period.
But really, these people are claiming that the textbooks don't give enough history of the violence in Islamic history. I'm sure they are also clamoring for the full bloody breadth of the Crusades to be exposed to our youth. And maybe they are...after all, they seem to think that Holy War is a good thing.
But - here is the larger point - aren't there REAL, ACTUAL challenges facing our country, something besides the treatment of a religion that's followed by a tiny percentage of our country? I don't know, maybe the Health Care Crisis might be a good place to start. Or the putrid corruption infesting our political system. Or our abhorrent educational system. Or our struggling military. Or the choking, poisonous pollution we spew every day.
No, instead Fox News wants to ignore real problems to keep people riled and stewing over these imagined insults to some equally imagined "real American" character. In the process, they just let everything get worse, and they recruit legions of undereducated saps to actually muck up the works for those who are actually trying to solve our real problems.
Goddamn I hate Fox News!
Friday, February 20, 2009
Belated VD Thoughts
Is it possible that "cooties" was the result of an adult attempting to explain the effects of veneral disease to children?
Bobby: Daddy, why is uncle Billy jumping around and grabbing his privates?
Daddy: Uh, uncle Billy has, uh..."cooties".
Bobby: What's cooties?
Daddy: Um, it's something you catch from girls.
Bobby: Oh, shit.
Bobby runs down the street to his friend Jimmy's house.
Bobby: Jimmy! Jimmy! Guess what!
Bobby: Daddy, why is uncle Billy jumping around and grabbing his privates?
Daddy: Uh, uncle Billy has, uh..."cooties".
Bobby: What's cooties?
Daddy: Um, it's something you catch from girls.
Bobby: Oh, shit.
Bobby runs down the street to his friend Jimmy's house.
Bobby: Jimmy! Jimmy! Guess what!
New List: Parcels
Things I'd Like to See Inside Other Things:
1. Quartz inside a wad of chewed up chewing gum
2. A canary inside a postal tube (openended)
3. Bread dough inside an asphalt box
4. Marbles inside an automobile tire
5. Rain inside a bee's eye
6. A bullet inside an epoxy egg
7. Confetti inside a miniature pressure cooker
8. A rabbit's foot keychain inside an empty wading pool
9. A shark's tooth inside a translucent marshmallow
10. Gravel inside a coca cola can
1. Quartz inside a wad of chewed up chewing gum
2. A canary inside a postal tube (openended)
3. Bread dough inside an asphalt box
4. Marbles inside an automobile tire
5. Rain inside a bee's eye
6. A bullet inside an epoxy egg
7. Confetti inside a miniature pressure cooker
8. A rabbit's foot keychain inside an empty wading pool
9. A shark's tooth inside a translucent marshmallow
10. Gravel inside a coca cola can
Friday, November 7, 2008
Out In the Fields
From a philosophical standpoint, there is something unaccounted for in the inductive method of science: Inspiration. Should scientists work to seek out what lies in the cracks of accumulated evidence - not as fissures in the canon, but as unexplored totalities & dimensions? Reliance only on collected experience can also be thought of as provincialism.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
